A Blog a Day

Since May 1, I have posted on my blog every day. My original goal was to post every day in the month of May, but once I got in the habit, I just kept on posting. I am enjoying the process of writing about my life on a regular basis.

Some days I know exactly what I am going to blog about, and others I have to think about it for a while. I still haven't developed a theme for my blog as many bloggers do, but rather the topics of my postings are random. I am still inspired by reading other blogs, which I do most days. I have a long list of blogs I like to follow and I do enjoy those with theme or a common thread to the posts. But since I am still a new blogger, I haven't found my hook or theme yet, so random it is!

I am taking a vacation for the next 10 days and some of those days I will be in a location where I cannot access the internet. So while my intent is to keep on blogging daily, I will be taking a break for a little while.

Thursday Thanks

I am so thankful for books, books, and more books and the authors who write them. There are so many genres and styles of writing, but what I love about them all is that when I read a good book, I am transported to a different place and time, to the perspective of a different person or group of people. I love books!

Communication, Part II

So yesterday I used my blog to remind myself of good communication skills and to give myself a little pep talk before having a conversation with my son, Matt, about some of the little things that have been bothering me of late. When he got home from work, the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey, Matty, how was work today?
Matt: It was good. So you wanted to talk...
Me: Yes.
Matt: Well, I meant to tell you what happened yesterday with the doggy door, but I forgot to tell you. I came home from work on my lunch break and I didn't have my key and I needed to get in the house, so I came in that way.
[Note to readers: the boy is 6'2" and the dog is 6 lbs., so he had to jerk the panel which holds the doggy door to and fro (since it is screwed in) to access the house, hence it is now torqued with gaps where there should not be gaps.]
Me: Well, you have two choices here as far I can tell: (1) fix the door, or (2) buy a new one.
Matt: Okay, I will probably have to buy new one.
Me: So, I do want to talk you about some of the little things that have been going on lately, but first I want you to know that you should be really proud of yourself because you have made some amazing changes in your life. You have done a complete 360 and you are doing great as far as the big picture goes.
Matt: Yeah, so what are the little things that are frustrating you?
Me: Matt, I don't want to overlook all of the really great choices you are making, so I want you to know that you are really doing great with all of the big things that really matter. This other stuff is just minor irritants that are no big deal in and of themselves, but they just add up.
Matt: Uh huh.
Me: You should be so proud of yourself, Matt, because you are getting your life back on track and really doing great in the important things...
Matt: So, Mom, just get to the bottom line, what is really bugging you? Just tell me...

There was more to the conversation, but I have to admit that I am somewhat amused because my son is a lot like me in terms of how he wants to communicate--spare the fluff and get to the point. I worked with a gal once who said she was going to call me "Frank" because I was always so direct. I'm thinking maybe I should call my boy "Curt!" As my mom would say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Communication

So today I am experiencing some frustrations with my son, Matt, about little things he is and is not doing around the house. He was out of the house for a while and has been back at home for a little less than three months. Before I agreed to let him come back, we had lots of communication about my expectations if he were to live with me again.

For the most part, he has been meeting my expectations. In terms of the big picture, he is right on track and doing great. But I find myself seemingly frustrated over minor irritants. I know that I am not an easy person to live with because I like things just so. Not white glove test clean, but I don't like having a lot of clutter in my living spaces, I go nuts if there are dirty dishes in the sink, and I like things to be put back in their place. Oh, I am the kind of person who has things forever because I take care of my stuff.

Meanwhile, the boy is back home and not quite delivering on his promises to meet my expectations. I digress because I don't want to mean to write about dirty dishes, but rather about how I communicate with other people, especially those I love most in this great big world. No one is more precious to me than Matt, so it would seem that any time I talk with him, or text him, that I should show him nothing but love, love, and more love. Truth be told, when I am frustrated, there is not a lot of love (or perhaps any love) oozing out of me.

I am thinking about his arrival home from work and the chat that we are going to have tonight. (He has been forewarned by an exchange of text messages ending with "...momma ain't happy right now.") While communicating clearly with him about my expectations and what I need from a house-mate, I need to convey how great he is doing with the big stuff, getting his life back on track after a challenging few years. I want Matt to know he is making some fantastic choices right now and his change to a new direction is something of which he should be really and truly proud. Ultimately, what I desire is to support him as he builds a solid foundation for the next few years of his life without compromising on my own quality of life.

I have gone to countless trainings over the years about communication, I have read many self-help books about communication and relationships, but if there are dirty dishes in the sink, you would never know it as I display behaviors that model what not to do! Whew, I feel better now and hopefully will be in the right frame of mind to communicate in a positive manner.

Anticipation

There are times in life when I am fortunate to be filled with a sense of anticipation. Sometimes it is something simple, like anticipating the end of a long week at work. Other times, it is something special, like anticipating spending the holidays with family. Merriam-Webster defines anticipation as the act of looking forward; especially: pleasurable expectation.

This evening I am filled with anticipation about...

• seeing the car that Matty bought today. He bought his first car about a year ago, but sadly, he did not drive it very long before he had some major problems with it. So even though I know he bought an older vehicle, I am excited to see him with his new car because I know he is going to be so happy to have car again.
• taking a week of vacation starting next Monday. Combined with the fourth of July holiday, I will get to take 10 days off work. Yippee!
• spending time at the family cabin, which is a wonderful place in the middle of the forest with a creek running nearby. Ah, the simple life!
• having my sister, Jamie, visit me and spend time with me at the cabin. We are the youngest of six siblings and the only girls, so we are very close and we do not get to spend a lot of time together. I know we will laugh and giggle like girls during the week she is here!

Today is a good day and I am looking forward to many more good days coming my way!

Six-Word Sunday

father

leader

provider

teacher

caretaker

friend

Commencement, Part II

This morning I had the privilege of volunteering at my college's GED/High School Completion commencement ceremony. While I thoroughly enjoy all graduations, I think this one is special because the graduates have persevered despite the adversities they have faced.

The excitement and pride in the room was palpable as family and friends were there to cheer on their loved ones who had accomplished something that at one time must have seemed out of reach. Two of the students had the opportunity to speak about their personal journeys and both young men told of the hardships they had faced. From homelessness to addiction, from raising families to going to school while working, their struggles made their accomplishments all the sweeter.

Another highlight of the ceremony was a performance by the African Gospel Acappella, a group of four men from the African country of Liberia. Each of the men is blind and have survived civil war and other hardships. One of the men in the group received his GED and walked in the ceremony, and another, having received his GED in 2007, just received his associate's degree at our commencement on Thursday.

As I sat in the back of the room, at times with tears in my eyes, what struck me most about all gathered was that what we shared was a feeling of hope. No matter the challenge or the dream, with determination, we can know that there is hope for a better tomorrow.

Friday Funnies

• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  
• Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
  
• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
• Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
  
• Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
  
• I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
  

Commencement

This evening the community college I work at had its commencement ceremony. It was a fine affair with over 400 graduates walking in the ceremony and thousand of folks there to celebrate their accomplishments with them.

The commencement speaker was Heidi Durrow, recently acclaimed author for her first novel, The Girl Who Fell From the Sky. I had read the novel before it was announced she would be the keynote speaker tonight, and since I really enjoyed the book, I was looking forward to hearing her speak. She was warm, engaging, funny, and probably most important for the graduates, she was inspiring. Heidi's ultimate challenge to the class of 2010 was this:

What would you do if you knew you would not fail?

As these graduates embark on the next part of their life's journeys, it was a good question intended to challenge them to think about what brings them joy, passion and excitement. I think, too, it is a good question for all of us to consider. It is one that I need to spend some time pondering as I think about my own life and what brings me joy, passion and excitement.

Nicknames

Wikipedia says a nickname is a descriptive name given in place of or in addition to the official name of a person, place or thing. It happens that at work today, I used a nickname with my friend and co-worker, Danette. She has her own nickname, Dani, but a few weeks back I decided to call her Danita Jo. We we're talking with Angie, who said she is also known as Angel, a moniker that is a perfect fit for her sweet temperament and loving personality.

I shared with Danita Jo (who told us that at one time had the nickname Dickie, but that is her story to tell) and Angel that I have had a lot of nicknames in my life. They include:

• Annies - which my dad called me when I was a little girl
• Babbas - which I was called as a girl because one of the adults in our circle of family/friends was also named Barbara
• Babs or Babsy - which our friend Bob Truckey always called me
• Bobo - which somehow became my nickname when I was in 7th or 8th grade of parochial school
• Barb - which is what everyone in high school called me
• Baby Doll - my sister called me this for a while
• Baba - the name I got when I worked with a gentleman who was Vietnamese but had gone to university in France, so he always said my name as if there were no "R's" in it
• Ba - which was the short version of Baba
• Blondie - this is what the Jamaicans I associated with back in the day called me, because I had long, blonde hair
• B - is what Matt's dad called me most of the time
• Barbie - my friend Susan (who I called The Q) used to call me this, as did the sister of one of Matt's friends

My dad grew up being called Poncho, my mom got the nickname Mary, one of my brothers was called Wogg-Noggs, sometimes we called my sister Damers, and on and on. I've been in the habit of calling my son Matty or Mo, which is short for Matt-Mo. I have a friend whose son is called Kit because of a cartoon character he liked to watch when he was little. It's funny how we get nicknames and some of them stick.

Anybody have any fun nicknames of your own to share?