Six-Word Sunday

You're never too old for Halloween!

It sparkles, it shines--and it's all mine!

Yesterday I got something I have been wanting for a long, long time. I’ve tried countless times to get it before, but for lots of reasons, it has eluded me. Still, my longing for it never went away and every so often I would once again try to figure out how I could get it. My efforts and desires were never in sync, until yesterday.

I had to work to get it and I know that every time I see it, it will make me happy. Some people might think I am crazy for wanting it so badly and for never letting it get entirely out of my head. I would guess there are at least a few people who feel the same as I do. While it is not essential and these last years of my life have proven that I can live without it, it is a sight to behold.

It sparkles, it shines—and it is all mine! Look at it in all of its magnificence:

Do you see what I see? It is a toilet bowl that looks like it is brand new! It is shiny and white and oh so pretty. Yeah, well, now you know I am a bit of a goof because this makes me really happy. This commode in the guest bath was riddled with hard-water stains for years and try as I might, I could never get rid of them. I purchased so many different products, filled with hope each time that this would be the one that worked. And yesterday, it was! (I got a bathroom stone at Freddy’s for about $3; combined with some elbow grease, I ended up with the beauty before you!)

Oh, it sparkles, it shines—and it is all mine!

Six-Word Sunday

Satisfied from a very productive day.

Thursday Thanks

I am thankful for crisp, clear fall days. I love the blue sky in contrast to red, yellow and orange leaves. I love the slight chill in the air in the mornings, followed by afternoons that are comfortable, but not cold. I love seeing piles of leaves, knowing that on Halloween children will be scurrying through them as they race from house to house. I love the sunsets which color the  few clouds in the sky, making them look like fluffy, pink cotton candy. I love anticipating the arrival of the holidays and spending meaningful time with family and friends. I love fall!

Lessons on Living

As I previously mentioned, Ann, one of my co-workers and friends, has recently been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Ann has created a blog on CaringBridge and every day she posts to keep her family and friends up to date. In a little over a week, there have been over 1,100 visits to Ann's site, which is reflective of how much she is loved and also, I think, of the courage, grace and humor with which she is facing her current situation.

Every day I read what Ann has posted and there are lessons to be learned in watching this amazing woman create a community amongst all of the people who know her from the many chapters in her life. You see, even in the midst of this life-changing diagnosis, Ann is positive, focused on love and bringing people together. Here are a few of the lessons I have learned:

(These are Ann's words, not mine.)

• Life is learning about the world and yourself in that world.
• I like to think of being pulled along by joy rather than pushed by fear.
• Let your kites and your hearts fly free! No strings.
• No weeping, sobbing, tears, or deep sighs please.
• Jesus? I’m a fan of the man, but not a believer in the God. I like his message of love, peace, and generosity. I'd like it if more of his followers actually lived his lessons.
• I have faith that the power of love is stronger and longer lasting than the power of hate.
• You are like a strand of strong, beautiful pearls: each one on the string contributing to the wholeness of my life.
• Don't you think this is what a resume should look like? Not "look at what I've done" but "look at the people in my life?"
• Whoever said, “You’ll feel better after a good cry” was WRONG! I always feel worse. Now, a good laugh, a deeply belted out song – those will make me feel better!
• You also know that I am more comfortable with a half-assed plan than no plan at all. Make a plan! Who cares if you don’t know all the info? You’ll NEVER know all the info! Go. Do. Be. Make a list of things to do and then do them!
• OK, everybody. In Angie’s honor – go out there and do something that makes you want to shit your pants. It could be physical, or social, or emotional. What are you AFRAID of?? Do it anyway.
• “Sorry, this trumps your stupid little problems. Get over it! Get over yourself. Get over your fear. Realize that so much of what makes you nuts doesn't matter. What the f are you waiting for?????”
• This is the day folks! The one you have. What are you looking forward to? Do something that will build your capacity and resilience. (You never know when you’ll need it.)

Though her current situation has taken Ann out of the classroom, she continues to teach with every post and comment she makes on her blog. And I, for one, am thankful to be learning these lessons!

Six-Word Sunday

Courage shared inspires
hope and determination.

Thursday Thanks

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass. --Maya Angelou

Today I am thankful for the women in my life who go out and kick ass every day. With some, I admire their willingness to step out and speak up in the face of injustice. With others, I admire their quiet resilience to the challenges life throws their way. Some move me to tears because their capacity for love and acceptance knows no bounds. Others push me to find my strength and authentic self, acknowledging my potential. Others shower me and all around them with grace and mercy. Some lead by example and others follow with determination.

They teach, they laugh, they sing, they dance, they work, they play, they inspire, they thrill, they talk, they listen, they learn, and they love. They are friends, mothers, sisters, workers, neighbors; they are you and they are me and they kick ass!

A Fish Named Drake

A couple of months ago, my son, Matt, told me he was getting a fish. One of his good buddies was relocating to Florida and Matt agreed to “adopt” his fish. One day when I got home from work, they were moving in a fish tank and all of the related paraphernalia. The tank was put on the dresser in Matt’s room and the fish, an Oscar, was brought in once everything was set up. Matt decided to name the fish “Drake” after the rapper.

I told Matt I had no interest in “his” fish and that I would not be taking care of it. Matt said that wouldn’t be a problem and his friend taught him what he needed to do to take care of the fish. Not long after, a weekend came along where Matt was headed to the coast and I reluctantly agreed to feed the fish, but only because Matt was going to be gone.

It’s now two months later and somehow I feel like Drake is “my” fish, too. He has since been relocated to a 55 gallon tank in the living room and every day, I go in to check on the fish and talk to him. I wake up in the morning and stop in the living room to check on Drake. I get home from work and go in the living room to see how Drake is doing. Before I go to sleep at night, I’m in the living room checking on the fish. Sometimes I sit on the couch near the tank for a while so that Drake has some company. One day after playing racquetball, I stopped at the nearby pet store to talk to the fish lady to learn about taking care of the fish. And when I came home, I brought Drake a present of some more fake plants to put in his tank! (He has moved them around a bit and he likes to hide behind them. Who knew?)

How did this happen? It’s funny, because when Matt first got the fish I told him and some of his friends that I was 47 years old and had never had a fish tank. Why? Because in 47 years I never wanted a fish tank. Now not only do I have a big fish tank in my house, but there’s a little fish in it that has somehow captured a piece of my heart!

Six-Word Sunday

A quiet Sunday at home; sweet!

Of Life and Death and In Between

In the past week, I have experienced friends overjoyed at the birth of their first child, the death of a pillar of my community and a co-worker learning that she has not one, but two, brain tumors. Each of these occurrences serve to remind me that there are no guarantees in life and despite our best-laid plans and goals and to-do lists, sometimes we are faced with experiences, opportunities and challenges we never anticipated or conjured up when we imagined what life would bring our way.

Of life, there is so much hope, promise, and joy in anticipating the future when a baby is born. Who or what will this little person become? What will his personality be—shy, outgoing, funny, warm, sensitive? How will he make his mark on the world? Who will love him and who will he love? What will he be passionate about? What will he do with his life? There are no limitations when we think about a life that has yet to unfold.

Of death, the final limitation has been reached and there are no more questions, but only answers defining who a person was, how they lived, what was important to them. Family and friends are left behind, cherishing the memories of a shared life. Hopefully there is satisfaction in knowing that it was a life well-lived, with few regrets.

In between, there are good days and bad, triumphs and failures, sadness and elation. Sometimes things go as we expect, goals are reached and plans come to fruition. What we envisioned or dreamed about becomes reality. Other times, we are faced with challenges that can seem insurmountable and make us feel like we have been transported to some parallel universe that makes us ask, “How did I end up here?”

No matter the season of life—the beginning, the end, or the middle—I am reminded that there are no certainties and that every day I should love and cherish my family and friends and make sure they know it. I should say yes more than no to the opportunities and adventures that come my way. And I should live in the now and be present and fully engaged in the moments I have with the people I love.

First Day and the Firsts to Come

Today my friends, DeL'Aurore and Tim, are experiencing their first day as parents. When I got the news and saw a picture of their little love, Donovan, it brought tears to my eyes because I know today is the first of many firsts they will experience as parents.

Delly and Tim, my wish for you is that the wonder, happiness, awe and love that fills you on your first day with Donovan will be with you as you experience...

• His first smile.
• His first laugh.
• His first toothy grin.
• His first time lighting up when you enter the room.
• His first step.
• His first time saying "Mama" or "Dada."
• His first hug.
• His first time kissing you.
• His first hair cut.
• His first Halloween, Christmas, Easter.
• His first birthday.
• His first sleep over.
• His first play date.
• His first sentence.
• His first day at pre-school.
• His first time dressing himself.
• His first day of school.
• His first best friend.
• His first crush.
• His first time being mischievous.

Today is your first day experiencing your hearts expanding bigger and wider than you ever thought possible because of this little life that you have been blessed with and I know that you will constantly be amazed by a lifetime of firsts with Donovan!

A Mother's Promise

My last post, albeit brief, was about a memorial run that has taken place at Clark College for six years. While the run is held in memory of a remarkable young man, Kalani Rodrigues, I really want to talk about his incredible mom, Lori Jimerson. (You can read an article about Kalani and this year's run here.)

In December of 2004, I started working at the Clark College Foundation. I recall that in the first batch of emails I read as a brand new employee, there was an email about the passing of the son of two college employees (Lori and her husband, Skip). A few months later, I was fortunate to be part of the Foundation team that worked with Lori as she fulfilled her promise to Kalani to create a walk or run to bring awareness to brain cancer.

From when I first met Lori, I was impressed with her fortitude and determination to see Kalani's vision of a K-Rod run become a reality. Though her son had lost his battle just a few months earlier, Lori never sought sympathy or pity for her loss. Instead, she was focused on creating a walk/run that would bring to fruition Kalani's desire to ensure that brain cancer is not a lost cause.

Despite the challenges faced the first year and in the ensuing years, Lori has always been calm, even serene, as she has managed details big and small. She appreciates any contributions that people make to this memorial event - be it a kind word, a small monetary donation to the scholarship set up in Kalani's name, or a volunteer's time. In the face of doubters or naysayers, Lori responds with grace to thank them for their time or suggestions.

This year as I joined a volunteer meeting, Lori impressed me yet again as she shared from her heart some of the decisions the family has had to make about the nature and purpose of the event. What she made clear is that at the forefront of her mind is what Kalani would want or expect of the event. Lori is holding to her promise to her son that there would be a K-Rod Run and she is keeping it true to what Kalani envisioned.

I did not have the good fortune to know Kalani, but from my years of involvement with this event and in becoming friends with Lori, I feel like I do know him. Kalani was the best of human nature--kind, determined, fun-loving, generous, caring--and his impact on so many people and lives continues to grow. It is a testament to the young man he was that so many people come out to support the Kalani Rodrigues Memorial Walk/Run. It is a testament to his mother's commitment to keep her promise to him that Kalani's legacy lives on.