Thursday Thanks(giving)

My heart is full and I am thankful. It’s Thanksgiving 2010 and I am filled with wonder and awe at the blessings in my life. The past year has been truly amazing and stands in stark contrast to 2009, which can easily be categorized as the worst year of my life.

Without going into the details, I’ll say that my son, Matt, made some poor choices that had devastating consequences. My world was rocked and there were days so filled with stress and fear that I will never forget them. My faith was truly tested and at times my hope was gone. As December approached, my thought was, “Well, at least this year will end better than it started.” Sadly, that turned out to be far from the truth as yet another challenge with Matt arose just a week before Christmas.

Fast forward almost a year and our lives have changed dramatically. This year, 2010, is one of the best years of my life. My heart is full with gratitude for having Matt back, fully present and engaged in his life. All of the best parts of him – his intelligence, his sense of humor, his tender-heartedness, his warmth, his caring, his sensitivity, and his playfulness – are shining brightly. He is embracing life and is choosing to live above the influence, with almost a year of sobriety under his belt. Matt has learned from some really tough experiences in the last year and he has matured a lot because of them.

As parents, we want nothing more than for our children to be healthy and happy. When they aren’t and there is nothing we can do about it, it is hard. When they choose to go down a self-destructive path, it is devastating. After too many years of seeing Matt sell himself short, my heart is overflowing with thanks for all he has accomplished and become this year. I can say that every day with him this year has been positive in some way.

Today we spent the day with our good friends, the Hubbards, and it was emotional for me as I thought about today compared to the holidays last year. Oh, there are many things to be thankful for, such as our friends who have become part of our extended family, for the amazing bounty of food prepared with love and care, for the beautiful Northwest, for our homes and jobs and the richness that fills our lives.

What I am most thankful for today, though, is the quiet moments that I had with Matt today. At one point, we sat on the couch while everyone was hustling and bustling around us. We sat side by side, Matt had his arm around my shoulders, and we talked about our fish. It was a simple moment, but it was so full of promise and hope and love and thankfulness. Me and my boy, side by side, enjoying each other’s company, surrounded by people we love who love us in return.

And later, we had another quiet moment in which I told Matt how thankful I am for all he has done and become in the last year. As we were hugging, Kim grabbed my camera and captured this picture.

I told Matt that I loved him and he said, “There is no place I would rather be right now.” My heart is full and I am thankful.