A Blog a Day

Since May 1, I have posted on my blog every day. My original goal was to post every day in the month of May, but once I got in the habit, I just kept on posting. I am enjoying the process of writing about my life on a regular basis.

Some days I know exactly what I am going to blog about, and others I have to think about it for a while. I still haven't developed a theme for my blog as many bloggers do, but rather the topics of my postings are random. I am still inspired by reading other blogs, which I do most days. I have a long list of blogs I like to follow and I do enjoy those with theme or a common thread to the posts. But since I am still a new blogger, I haven't found my hook or theme yet, so random it is!

I am taking a vacation for the next 10 days and some of those days I will be in a location where I cannot access the internet. So while my intent is to keep on blogging daily, I will be taking a break for a little while.

Thursday Thanks

I am so thankful for books, books, and more books and the authors who write them. There are so many genres and styles of writing, but what I love about them all is that when I read a good book, I am transported to a different place and time, to the perspective of a different person or group of people. I love books!

Communication, Part II

So yesterday I used my blog to remind myself of good communication skills and to give myself a little pep talk before having a conversation with my son, Matt, about some of the little things that have been bothering me of late. When he got home from work, the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey, Matty, how was work today?
Matt: It was good. So you wanted to talk...
Me: Yes.
Matt: Well, I meant to tell you what happened yesterday with the doggy door, but I forgot to tell you. I came home from work on my lunch break and I didn't have my key and I needed to get in the house, so I came in that way.
[Note to readers: the boy is 6'2" and the dog is 6 lbs., so he had to jerk the panel which holds the doggy door to and fro (since it is screwed in) to access the house, hence it is now torqued with gaps where there should not be gaps.]
Me: Well, you have two choices here as far I can tell: (1) fix the door, or (2) buy a new one.
Matt: Okay, I will probably have to buy new one.
Me: So, I do want to talk you about some of the little things that have been going on lately, but first I want you to know that you should be really proud of yourself because you have made some amazing changes in your life. You have done a complete 360 and you are doing great as far as the big picture goes.
Matt: Yeah, so what are the little things that are frustrating you?
Me: Matt, I don't want to overlook all of the really great choices you are making, so I want you to know that you are really doing great with all of the big things that really matter. This other stuff is just minor irritants that are no big deal in and of themselves, but they just add up.
Matt: Uh huh.
Me: You should be so proud of yourself, Matt, because you are getting your life back on track and really doing great in the important things...
Matt: So, Mom, just get to the bottom line, what is really bugging you? Just tell me...

There was more to the conversation, but I have to admit that I am somewhat amused because my son is a lot like me in terms of how he wants to communicate--spare the fluff and get to the point. I worked with a gal once who said she was going to call me "Frank" because I was always so direct. I'm thinking maybe I should call my boy "Curt!" As my mom would say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Communication

So today I am experiencing some frustrations with my son, Matt, about little things he is and is not doing around the house. He was out of the house for a while and has been back at home for a little less than three months. Before I agreed to let him come back, we had lots of communication about my expectations if he were to live with me again.

For the most part, he has been meeting my expectations. In terms of the big picture, he is right on track and doing great. But I find myself seemingly frustrated over minor irritants. I know that I am not an easy person to live with because I like things just so. Not white glove test clean, but I don't like having a lot of clutter in my living spaces, I go nuts if there are dirty dishes in the sink, and I like things to be put back in their place. Oh, I am the kind of person who has things forever because I take care of my stuff.

Meanwhile, the boy is back home and not quite delivering on his promises to meet my expectations. I digress because I don't want to mean to write about dirty dishes, but rather about how I communicate with other people, especially those I love most in this great big world. No one is more precious to me than Matt, so it would seem that any time I talk with him, or text him, that I should show him nothing but love, love, and more love. Truth be told, when I am frustrated, there is not a lot of love (or perhaps any love) oozing out of me.

I am thinking about his arrival home from work and the chat that we are going to have tonight. (He has been forewarned by an exchange of text messages ending with "...momma ain't happy right now.") While communicating clearly with him about my expectations and what I need from a house-mate, I need to convey how great he is doing with the big stuff, getting his life back on track after a challenging few years. I want Matt to know he is making some fantastic choices right now and his change to a new direction is something of which he should be really and truly proud. Ultimately, what I desire is to support him as he builds a solid foundation for the next few years of his life without compromising on my own quality of life.

I have gone to countless trainings over the years about communication, I have read many self-help books about communication and relationships, but if there are dirty dishes in the sink, you would never know it as I display behaviors that model what not to do! Whew, I feel better now and hopefully will be in the right frame of mind to communicate in a positive manner.

Anticipation

There are times in life when I am fortunate to be filled with a sense of anticipation. Sometimes it is something simple, like anticipating the end of a long week at work. Other times, it is something special, like anticipating spending the holidays with family. Merriam-Webster defines anticipation as the act of looking forward; especially: pleasurable expectation.

This evening I am filled with anticipation about...

• seeing the car that Matty bought today. He bought his first car about a year ago, but sadly, he did not drive it very long before he had some major problems with it. So even though I know he bought an older vehicle, I am excited to see him with his new car because I know he is going to be so happy to have car again.
• taking a week of vacation starting next Monday. Combined with the fourth of July holiday, I will get to take 10 days off work. Yippee!
• spending time at the family cabin, which is a wonderful place in the middle of the forest with a creek running nearby. Ah, the simple life!
• having my sister, Jamie, visit me and spend time with me at the cabin. We are the youngest of six siblings and the only girls, so we are very close and we do not get to spend a lot of time together. I know we will laugh and giggle like girls during the week she is here!

Today is a good day and I am looking forward to many more good days coming my way!

Six-Word Sunday

father

leader

provider

teacher

caretaker

friend

Commencement, Part II

This morning I had the privilege of volunteering at my college's GED/High School Completion commencement ceremony. While I thoroughly enjoy all graduations, I think this one is special because the graduates have persevered despite the adversities they have faced.

The excitement and pride in the room was palpable as family and friends were there to cheer on their loved ones who had accomplished something that at one time must have seemed out of reach. Two of the students had the opportunity to speak about their personal journeys and both young men told of the hardships they had faced. From homelessness to addiction, from raising families to going to school while working, their struggles made their accomplishments all the sweeter.

Another highlight of the ceremony was a performance by the African Gospel Acappella, a group of four men from the African country of Liberia. Each of the men is blind and have survived civil war and other hardships. One of the men in the group received his GED and walked in the ceremony, and another, having received his GED in 2007, just received his associate's degree at our commencement on Thursday.

As I sat in the back of the room, at times with tears in my eyes, what struck me most about all gathered was that what we shared was a feeling of hope. No matter the challenge or the dream, with determination, we can know that there is hope for a better tomorrow.

Friday Funnies

• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  
• Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
  
• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
• Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
  
• Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
  
• I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
  

Commencement

This evening the community college I work at had its commencement ceremony. It was a fine affair with over 400 graduates walking in the ceremony and thousand of folks there to celebrate their accomplishments with them.

The commencement speaker was Heidi Durrow, recently acclaimed author for her first novel, The Girl Who Fell From the Sky. I had read the novel before it was announced she would be the keynote speaker tonight, and since I really enjoyed the book, I was looking forward to hearing her speak. She was warm, engaging, funny, and probably most important for the graduates, she was inspiring. Heidi's ultimate challenge to the class of 2010 was this:

What would you do if you knew you would not fail?

As these graduates embark on the next part of their life's journeys, it was a good question intended to challenge them to think about what brings them joy, passion and excitement. I think, too, it is a good question for all of us to consider. It is one that I need to spend some time pondering as I think about my own life and what brings me joy, passion and excitement.

Nicknames

Wikipedia says a nickname is a descriptive name given in place of or in addition to the official name of a person, place or thing. It happens that at work today, I used a nickname with my friend and co-worker, Danette. She has her own nickname, Dani, but a few weeks back I decided to call her Danita Jo. We we're talking with Angie, who said she is also known as Angel, a moniker that is a perfect fit for her sweet temperament and loving personality.

I shared with Danita Jo (who told us that at one time had the nickname Dickie, but that is her story to tell) and Angel that I have had a lot of nicknames in my life. They include:

• Annies - which my dad called me when I was a little girl
• Babbas - which I was called as a girl because one of the adults in our circle of family/friends was also named Barbara
• Babs or Babsy - which our friend Bob Truckey always called me
• Bobo - which somehow became my nickname when I was in 7th or 8th grade of parochial school
• Barb - which is what everyone in high school called me
• Baby Doll - my sister called me this for a while
• Baba - the name I got when I worked with a gentleman who was Vietnamese but had gone to university in France, so he always said my name as if there were no "R's" in it
• Ba - which was the short version of Baba
• Blondie - this is what the Jamaicans I associated with back in the day called me, because I had long, blonde hair
• B - is what Matt's dad called me most of the time
• Barbie - my friend Susan (who I called The Q) used to call me this, as did the sister of one of Matt's friends

My dad grew up being called Poncho, my mom got the nickname Mary, one of my brothers was called Wogg-Noggs, sometimes we called my sister Damers, and on and on. I've been in the habit of calling my son Matty or Mo, which is short for Matt-Mo. I have a friend whose son is called Kit because of a cartoon character he liked to watch when he was little. It's funny how we get nicknames and some of them stick.

Anybody have any fun nicknames of your own to share?

Cranky Schmanky

Grocery Shopping Blues

It's Monday evening and the cupboards are bare.
I said it's Monday evening and the cupboards are bare.
I look inside and see nothing but air.

Open the fridge there's nothing to eat.
The door is wide open but there's nothing to eat.
Can't find no eggs, no cheese and no meat.

The food on the shelf has to be brought home.
I said the food on the shelf has to be brought home.
But it ain't gonna happen if it's my job alone.

Ain't standing in line, ain't paying no bill.
I said I ain't standing in line, I ain't paying no bill.
When it comes to grocery shopping, I've had my fill.

It's Monday evening and the cupboards are bare.
I said it's Monday evening and the cupboards are bare.
You may not like it, but life just ain't fair.

Six-Word Sunday

Kindness extended creates
connection and community.

A Beautiful Day

Twas beautiful today as we were graced with blue sky and sunshine! The Northwest of late has been one gray day after another, so today was just a wonderful day to be outside enjoying the sun.

I spent most of the day being productive - I washed my car, trimmed the shrubs around the fire hydrant to make sure it is not obstructed, fixed the screen door (which Matt pushed right through on his way out), and pressure washed a good portion of my driveway. About that, it really is an exercise in futility because there are sections of my driveway which have sunk, thus not sloping toward the street and creating a lovely bowl in which water likes to gather. Nevertheless, I did my best to remove a few years worth of dirt and grime from the cement and the sections I did today look much better. Tomorrow should be nice as well, so hopefully I can get the rest of it done.

Aside from working too hard for too many hours, life is so good right now. The sunshine, of course, does much to increase my joy and optimism, so here's to the glowing days of summer!

I met Seth Aaron Henderson!

Today the mayor of Vancouver, WA, gave the key to our fair city to Seth Aaron Henderson, the winner of season 7 of Project Runway. Seth Aaron is from Vancouver and he definitely makes our city proud; there was a nice crowd in attendance. It was exciting to see Seth Aaron in person after watching and rooting for him week after week on Project Runway.

Aside from his incredible and cutting edge talent as a designer, one of the reasons I was rooting for Seth Aaron is because he was very down to earth and on the show he never seemed to get caught up in the gossip or mean-spirited activities. Seth Aaron was portrayed on the show as being humble, kind and caring. In person, he was just the same, so the show got it right. It was fun to see a home-town boy celebrated by our community. Go, Seth Aaron!

Meeting in the Ladies Room

An interesting phenomenon has been occurring in one of the stalls in the ladies room at my office. Some weeks ago, someone wrote, "Smile, you're beautiful," on the inside of the stall door.

Each time I have returned to this stall in the weeks since, more writing has been added to the original sentiment. First, it was a response of "well, thanks," followed by various comments, including someone chiding the writers about vandalism. One person wrote, "Inspiration stall, where attitudes come together." It reminds me of the old school song, Meeting in the Ladies Room.

I just find the whole thing odd. What is the deal with writing notes in the bathroom? Granted, this is a public restroom at a community college which is frequented by probably 50 or 100 visitors a day, and some of them are young, but still.

I guess it is kind of funny when you think of the fact that men have been asking for years what it is that women do in the ladies room. In this case, they are writing notes to each other!

It's a Dilbert Life

I love reading Dilbert because, as they say, there is truth in humor. There are days when it seems to me that Scott Adams must be secretly reviewing videotape from my place of employment. I imagine that part of the success of Dilbert is that we all can see ourselves in the strips. Aren't there days when everyone feels like they have a pointy-haired boss?

Reach Out and Touch Someone

In the 1980s, AT&T had a memorable and catchy slogan encouraging everyone to "reach out and touch someone." Sounds a little corny, and today if we did reach out and touch someone, we might end up with a lawsuit on our hands.

The concept behind the slogan, though, is still a good one. Reach out, make a connection with someone important to you. I am definitely an advocate of technology and I love using emails, texts, and social networking to keep in touch with people. That said, I still think that a phone call is the best way to reach out.

This evening I spent some time talking with a treasured friend who lives in the same city as me; I typically see her 2-4 times a month. The weeks when we don't spend time together, one of us will call to check in with the other to find out how things are going. The phone calls are what keep us connected when we are short on time.

I also called my parents tonight and had a lovely and enjoyable conversation with my mother. We live a significant distance from each other and only see each other once every year or two, so the space between visits is filled by emails, greeting cards, occasional letters and phone calls. I enjoy each of those ways of keeping in touch with my folks, but the phone calls are the best.

I can curl up on the couch and hear my mom or dad's voice and the miles between us fade away. If I close my eyes, I can imagine that we are sitting in the same room. In times of trouble or elation, or just any ol' day, a phone call bridges the gap between me and my family and friends. Speaking with someone, I can detect excitement, worry, humor and many feelings that don't translate so well in written communication.

If the person has an accent, speech pattern or habit that is unique to them, I get to hear it on the phone. My aforementioned friend is from North Dakota and often says "Oh, Barb" throughout our conversations. One of my dearest friends who hales from the Lone Star state always says, "Dad and them" when she is talking about her dad's family. Hearing my dad clear his throat or one of my brothers laugh--those sounds are deep within my being and resonate in my heart and mind.

I think AT&T got this one right; I know I need to take a little more time to reach out and touch someone!

Monday Musings

As I was driving home after a long day at work, I was considering what I would post about today. It got me to thinking about the fact that it has not been difficult at all for me to choose something to blog about every day (at least since May 1). Granted, on some days my posts are short or may contain photos, but truth be told, most days I have plenty to say about everything!

I have to wonder to what extent growing up in a large, rambunctious family conditioned me to always have something to say. My parents have always been outspoken and as my momma often reminds me, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!" Actually, as the youngest of six, there were plenty of times when I only listened and observed.

As an adult, though, I have had to learn to remain silent at times, to bite my tongue, to allow other people time on the airwaves. As an extrovert, I have learned that introverts and less assertive or confident people have plenty to say too if they are given a chance. I have gotten much better at waiting before putting my thoughts out on the airwaves and at prompting others to speak up.

I guess with blogging what I am finding is that the airwaves are wide open -- there is no competition here. Of course, there may not be any listeners either, but it is still fun to post my thoughts!

Six-Word Sunday

Incessant rain

delays summer's

welcome arrival.

iPost

I have been playing with my new cell phone to see of I could use it for posting on my blog. It took a few minutes for me to figure out that I could enter text for by going to the "edit HTML" tab. I am not sure why I could not enter in the compose location, but I am glad I figured it out because there may be days when I am not near a computer to post. This is my first official iPost; man, I love technology!

Hurray for the Weekend

Thursday Thanks

Today I am thankful for dance, dance, dance! Whether it is a silly dance in front of my mirror or professional dancers on the stage, I love dance. I think the most important quality a dancer can have, even more than talent, is enthusiasm. If a person has fun dancing, then everyone else will have fun, too! Here are some clips of some dancers/dancing I enjoy!

• When I was a girl, I loved to watch old movies with the likes of Gene Kelly, the Nicholas Brothers, Cyd Charisse, and Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Amazing dancers, all!


• Any time I come across it, I will watch Dirty Dancing. Nobody puts Baby in the corner. I'll also watch Grease just to see You Better Shape Up! Corny stuff, but I like it!


• I like to watch the dance shows on TV, like So You Think You Can Dance and America's Best Dance Crew.


• I was a huge fan of Thriller when it came because it was unlike anything I had ever seen before - for all his personal challenges, Michael had the moves. And so did his little sister, Janet.


• James Brown had moves long before anyone today.


• I loved the Fly Girls on In Living Color. Did you know that is where J-Lo got her start?


• There is a great scene in the movie Tap where Gregory Hines, Sammy Davis Jr. and some other tap-dancing veterans have a challenge. I think seeing this movie is the first time I heard of Savion Glover. Boy can he dance!

I could spend hours watching dance clips. I am thankful for all dancers, famous or not, who share their joy, movement and passion with the rest of us!

Why work so hard?

Despite my best intentions, I've been letting the number of hours I work each day creep past the 8 hour mark. I did fairly well for a couple of months, but as the end of an academic year approaches, I find myself working later and later to stay somewhat abreast of my work load.

Yesterday found me, after the long holiday weekend, putting in a 12 hour day. It was a straight 12 with no break for lunch or really any breaks at all. It's amazing how many emails pile up in my inbox when I am away, even for only two days. Yesterday when I left work, I had not even made it through all of my emails, probably because I had to attend four meetings (thankfully the fifth was canceled).

Today I was determined to get through the bulk of the unopened emails, the majority of which required responses to the senders. I arrived at work at about 7:40 a.m. and it was 9:36 p.m. when I left. I did take just over an hour for lunch today, so I worked about 13 hours today.

Given that I work for a public institution in which there are no merit increases or promotions looming, and my position is exempt from overtime pay, I have to ask myself why I work so hard. Additionally, there are times I am certain that my hard work is not appreciated by those around me, so what gives? I think there are multiple layers to the answer, such as:

• My parents instilled in me a strong work ethic; I believe in doing an honest day's work for an honest day's pay.
• I perhaps think I work faster than I do, because I always believe it will take just a few minutes to "get one more thing done" before I leave for the day.
• My current work load demands more than 40 hours a week in order for it to be manageable.
• I have always been willing to do what needs to be done, until it is all done. This doesn't really work when I can't ever actually complete my "to do" list, but I try!
• Uhm, working is better than exercising? Hhhm, I know it is not better than playing racquetball, but maybe there is something to that theory.

Once again, I will remind myself that when the end of my time on this earth comes, should I be in a position to reflect on my life, I will feel best about the time spent with my family and friends, not sitting at my desk at work!

A Friend for Life

[Georgann and me, circa 1984]

On this first day of June, I am thinking about my friend, Georgann, because today is her birthday. (Birthday wishes, GG, for an abundance of love and happiness today and always!) When I was a young woman of about 20, I interviewed for a job at a savings and loan, where I ended up working for almost 10 years. While the interview led to a job and career that I never imagined, the best thing that happened to me that day was meeting Georgann.

Georgann was the branch manager and the person who interviewed me. I don't remember much about the interview questions, but I do remember that Georgann and I had instant rapport. The conversation was easy and the interview lasted a lot longer than I had anticipated; we just clicked right from the get go.

I was fortunate to work with Georgann for several years before she fully supported my transfer and promotion to a position in the corporate office. In the years I worked with her, I learned a lot about what it means to be a good boss. She was the kind of leader who communicated clearly and had high expectations, coupled with a recognition of the value each of her employees brought to the team. Georgann embraced new ideas and was willing to let people try new things.

One of her best attributes as a boss was that she was willing and able to maintain friendships with her employees. She had the ability to take off her "boss" hat at the end of the day and just be herself. I spent more time laughing with Georgann in those years than I can remember and we had some of the best times of my life. Even though I ended moving closer to my job at the corporate office and we didn't work directly together any more, Georgann and I maintained our friendship. (She was one of my friends who hosted a baby shower for me when I was preggers with Matt.)

Georgann is one of the people who has had tremendous influence in my life. She definitely spoiled me as one of my first bosses because she set the bar really high. I was young and did not know then what I know now--great bosses are few and far between! Personally, I have learned from Georgann that it is right to be strong and independent, to be willing to take risks and to try things even when the outcome is uncertain or unknown. She is a person with great love and acceptance of all people. She is willing to sacrifice personally to serve others--even spending about four years in the Peace Corps in Lesotho.

While our eventual move to the Northwest means that I don't see Georgann very often, she has remained a touchstone in my life. She influences me more than she can ever know, as I often think, "Georgann wouldn't be afraid to try that!" or "Georgann went on her Peace Corps adventure in mid-life, so adventures are still out there for me, too!" She is a remarkable woman and I am truly blessed that on that day when I went on an interview in 1983, Georgann became my friend for life.