Friday Funnies

• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  
• Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
  
• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
• Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
  
• Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
  
• I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.