Communication

So today I am experiencing some frustrations with my son, Matt, about little things he is and is not doing around the house. He was out of the house for a while and has been back at home for a little less than three months. Before I agreed to let him come back, we had lots of communication about my expectations if he were to live with me again.

For the most part, he has been meeting my expectations. In terms of the big picture, he is right on track and doing great. But I find myself seemingly frustrated over minor irritants. I know that I am not an easy person to live with because I like things just so. Not white glove test clean, but I don't like having a lot of clutter in my living spaces, I go nuts if there are dirty dishes in the sink, and I like things to be put back in their place. Oh, I am the kind of person who has things forever because I take care of my stuff.

Meanwhile, the boy is back home and not quite delivering on his promises to meet my expectations. I digress because I don't want to mean to write about dirty dishes, but rather about how I communicate with other people, especially those I love most in this great big world. No one is more precious to me than Matt, so it would seem that any time I talk with him, or text him, that I should show him nothing but love, love, and more love. Truth be told, when I am frustrated, there is not a lot of love (or perhaps any love) oozing out of me.

I am thinking about his arrival home from work and the chat that we are going to have tonight. (He has been forewarned by an exchange of text messages ending with "...momma ain't happy right now.") While communicating clearly with him about my expectations and what I need from a house-mate, I need to convey how great he is doing with the big stuff, getting his life back on track after a challenging few years. I want Matt to know he is making some fantastic choices right now and his change to a new direction is something of which he should be really and truly proud. Ultimately, what I desire is to support him as he builds a solid foundation for the next few years of his life without compromising on my own quality of life.

I have gone to countless trainings over the years about communication, I have read many self-help books about communication and relationships, but if there are dirty dishes in the sink, you would never know it as I display behaviors that model what not to do! Whew, I feel better now and hopefully will be in the right frame of mind to communicate in a positive manner.